Her head spun, her mind raced, She went crazy. She saw herself there in the middle of her dark, grey, gloomy room. The room became darker and darker. Only the light from outside shined through a crack in her blinds. She stood there in front of her double wide mirror attempting to control herself. She didn’t want it to happen but it was too late. She screamed at the top of her lungs, tasted salt on her lips as rain fell from her eyes. Her hands tugged and pulled on her hair right before beating the image reflecting in the mirror.Shattered glass fell to the floor, and she fell along with it. Her knees hit the floor bruising, her bloody hands covered her face as she sobbed. Feeling alone, feeling the walls closing in, trying to fill her lungs with air.
She could only do this in her mind. Coming back to reality she stares into the mirror trying to keep control. Control of her breathing, her thoughts, struggling to remain calm. Remain calm, breathe, remain calm she tells herself. She would soon have the situation under control, the attack never lasted too long.
Living with an anxiety disorder can feel similar the insert above that you just finished reading, but anxiety affects everyone differently. For some people the attacks last a day or longer while for others the attack will last minutes to hours. Despite the actual length of the attack for those experiencing it, it seems to last forever. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “anxiety disorders are among the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults.” Most of us have experienced anxiety at least once in our lives while standing in a crowd, preparing to give a presentation, or awaiting big news. Perhaps this is why this particular mental illness is brushed off, not taken seriously.
As someone who is has always been on the side of natural remedies in order to over come anxiety I find myself researching professional help more and more. I have given presentations, and performances over the side effects of prescription drugs and why I have chosen to say away from them, (mainly because I didn’t want to acknowledge “anxiety”) but lately it seems the attacks have only gotten worse. Luckily for me I have taken a lot of time to reflect in order to find the trigger causing my anxiety. I cannot say that the trigger is under control because it’s not something that I can actually control, which is what causes the panic. Lack of control in a certain situations. I can give a few tips on what helps me during an attack.
- Drinking water – This is my go to if I sense an attack coming.
- Fresh air, being outdoors.
- Listening to happy music – Remember music has an effect on your mood.
- Exercising – This always makes me feel powerful.
- Crying – This may not be a favorite, but a good cry can help, and it’s okay to cry I don’t care what anybody says.